{"id":11135,"date":"2016-02-22T16:20:27","date_gmt":"2016-02-23T00:20:27","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.speechbuddy.com\/blog\/?p=11135"},"modified":"2023-11-08T10:33:27","modified_gmt":"2023-11-08T18:33:27","slug":"heartache-and-joy-communication-challenges-with-autism","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.speechbuddy.com\/blog\/parents-corner\/heartache-and-joy-communication-challenges-with-autism\/","title":{"rendered":"Heartache and Joy: Communication Challenges with Autism"},"content":{"rendered":"

Life with a speech-delayed toddler<\/a> is filled with heartache and joy. Along with the usual toddler\u00a0demands\u00a0comes the added difficulty of not being able to easily communicate. In my child\u2019s case, her severe speech delay is due to autism spectrum disorder and motor planning issues. Our days are filled with struggle. My failure to understand her can send her into a rage or meltdown, further fueled by the autism. Yet we do find joys amongst\u00a0the everyday struggles of communication challenges with autism.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Photo<\/a> by\u00a0Quinn Dombrowski<\/span><\/p>\n

The Challenges<\/h2>\n
\"communication

Photo: Raspberry and Chunky<\/a> by G M<\/span><\/p><\/div>\n

A simple question is often met with silence, random words that don\u2019t make sense, or an unintelligible response because her brain and mouth don\u2019t connect. Sometimes, we get lucky and she says words I can understand, which makes us both smile. Yes and no questions abound just so we can get through the day. After many tries to get an answer, \u201cWhat do you want for breakfast\u201d becomes, \u201cDo you want oatmeal?\u201d Wait for an intelligible response. \u201cA banana?\u201d Wait again. This repeats until she finally agrees to something. If it\u2019s a food that involves choices, such as what jelly to put on the peanut butter sandwich, the yes\/no questions continue.<\/p>\n

Frustration with this back-and-forth often hits one of us because it takes so long and doesn\u2019t always produce\u00a0the desired\u00a0result. I\u2019ll fail to guess what she wants and pick something just so we can move on. She may eat it, refuse it or have a meltdown over not getting what she wants. This exchange repeats for every snack, meal, possible activity, what to wear\u2014anything that involves a choice.<\/p>\n

The Heartache<\/h2>\n

\"heartacheIt\u2019s heart breaking that she tries so hard to talk, but all that comes out is the wrong words or grunts because her mouth won\u2019t form the words that are in her head. She relays all her stories with such enthusiasm, despite the random words and grunts. Little hands and face animatedly tell a story no one else can understand. I\u2019m careful to show appropriate interest and excitement so she doesn\u2019t get discouraged and stop trying to speak.<\/p>\n

Her sweet face crumbles when I admit, \u201cI\u2019m sorry, Mommy doesn\u2019t understand.\u201d Sometimes, that sets her stimming<\/a>, saying the same few random words over and over. This comes from the autism. She\u2019s not able to describe\u00a0her feelings, and I just know something is wrong because of the stimming. When I do understand her, I\u2019m often the only one who does.<\/p>\n

She cries, wanting or needing things so badly, but not able to speak clearly enough\u00a0to tell me. Eventually, I\u2019ll figure out what\u2019s wrong and make it right. As right as I can, because she\u2019s terribly upset and hurting because she couldn\u2019t just say what she needs. I hurt from wanting to simply be able to communicate with her like other parents do with their child. I\u2019m left to wonder what is going on in her head and heart because she can\u2019t tell me what I so desperately want to know. I can\u2019t help but think she\u2019s wondering, “why can\u2019t I get the words to come out?\u00a0Why don’t\u00a0people understand me?\u00a0Will they ever understand me?”<\/p>\n

The Joys<\/h2>\n

Surprisingly, this daily struggle leads to joy. Simple things a typical toddler would say\u2014things that are usually taken for granted\u2014take on special meaning. The joy of the first time she said her brother\u2019s and the cats\u2019 names far overshadowed the fact that she said it later than usual. It filled me with pure happiness to hear. Even the first time she strung together three words, after a year of early intervention services<\/a>, was a cause for celebration\u2014never mind that I was the only one who could understand her. To me it was enough that she\u2019d said it.<\/p>\n

We\u2019ve learned to not overlook the small things. These small things are what keep us going and keep us thankful for what others may overlook.<\/p>\n \n \n \n \"Parent's<\/a>\n <\/span>\n <\/span>\n \n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Life with a speech-delayed toddler is filled with heartache and joy. Along with the usual toddler\u00a0demands\u00a0comes the added difficulty of not being able to easily communicate. In my child\u2019s case, her severe speech delay is due to autism spectrum disorder and motor planning issues. Our days are filled with struggle. My failure to understand her […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1092,"featured_media":11140,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1608,1323],"tags":[404,406,73,408],"class_list":["post-11135","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-autism","category-parents-corner","tag-autism-1","tag-communication-and-autism","tag-encouraging-speech-with-autism","tag-speech-and-language-in-autism"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.speechbuddy.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/02\/heartache-and-joy-communication-challenges-with-autism-2.jpg","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.speechbuddy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11135","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.speechbuddy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.speechbuddy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.speechbuddy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1092"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.speechbuddy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11135"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.speechbuddy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11135\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12553,"href":"https:\/\/www.speechbuddy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11135\/revisions\/12553"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.speechbuddy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/11140"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.speechbuddy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11135"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.speechbuddy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11135"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.speechbuddy.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11135"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}